Tomorrow Never Comes
by Sanqhian
Summary: [sequel to His Last Case] What a tangled web we weave. The lies are flying. Guns are firing. Nothing is normal anymore. [slash]
1. Intro

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes ---_His Last Case _sequel---

**Disclaimer: **Major angst. Violence/Harassment. Slash.

**Special Note**: See my profile for a note on this story.

**POV?**

**

* * *

Introduction**

The lab is quiet. This puts me at ease. Day shift is gone and not all of night shift is in. This will go well. Maybe.

I look to the picture in my hand. Happier times. I want to smile. Really, I do. Half-heartedly I tear the photo in half. The memory is gone.

The person I'm waiting for walks by. He doesn't see me. I check the hall. It's empty behind him. Briskly, yet slowly, I follow the guy I want.

He turns into the locker room.

Outside the door I pause. The metal is cool in my hand. I don't bother to check the chamber, I know it's full. My gun is always loaded.

Steeling my spine I enter the room. He's sitting on the bench, tying his shoes. As the door closes behind me he looks to me.

"What are you doing here?" He snaps.

"Came to see you."

"Get lost, trash."

He resumes tying his shoes. My anger is stoked by his ignorance. I point my gun at him.

"I'm not done with you."

He looks to me again. His eyes grow large as he sees the shiny metal.

"What the…"

"Shut up! You don't get to talk. You've done enough talking."

"Come on, man, you don't have the balls to pull that trigger."

I step closer. "I don't?"

He smiles. "Go ahead. Dare you to do it."

My mind races with visions of anger. Death. Blood. Anger. Loneliness.

"Enjoy your hell."

He smiles, calling my bluff.

I pull the trigger.


	2. Mi Casa, Su Casa

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Major Angst. Violence. Slash.

**POV:** Delko

**

* * *

Chapter One: Mi Casa, Su Casa  
**_Sometime earlier…_

"How many boxes are left?" I ask as I approach the car.

"Just two," H replies.

He hands me one and takes the other for himself. Together we walk to my apartment. Inside Speed is sitting on the couch. He looks lost.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I'm bored out of my mind," Speed tells us.

I chuckle.

"Learn a new hobby, Tim. You're not allowed back for another week."

Speed stands up. "I was released from the hospital two weeks ago. I should be fine."

Horatio places his box on the floor. "Look, you are not coming back for another week. I will not risk your health."

"But I'm fine!"

H walks up to him and gently pokes him in the ribs.

"Ow."

I giggle.

"See, you're not healed yet."

"Point made."

"Speed, don't worry, this next week will go by fast."

I place my box on the dining table. I open the flaps and begin removing the books inside. Books in identifying bullets and guns- a gift from Calleigh?- fingerprinting, the use of dogs in law enforcement, and a catalog of forensic tools. All work, all the time.

"How will it go by fast?"

"There's packing to undo, a barbeque at Alexx's place, and if you're up to it there's an office party we could attend," I explain.

"Well, I have to be on my way. I'm sure you guys can handle things from here," Horatio speaks up.

"Thank you, H."

"Thanks," Speed gives H a hug.

After Horatio leaves, the place feels a bit odd. This is the first day Speed and I will live together. I wanted him to move in two weeks ago. But he was really clingy the first week out of the hospital; I was afraid he'd move in for the wrong reasons. I finally got around to asking him three days ago, and of course, he said yes.

Sure, he had spent the night before. But now he will be here 24/7. I smile to myself. Having him close all the time will be perfect.

"I'm going to take a warm shower," Speed says; as he walks by he removes his shirt.

I watch him go by. The bruises on his ribs have faded. They are a dull shade of pinkish. The cuts have healed and have scarred over.

* * *

Later that evening we are enjoying dinner. Our first dinner in what is now our apartment. For some reason I am a bit uncomfortable. This is what I want, so what is wrong? And why do I have a feeling of dread? 

Taking my mind off my mood, I ask Speed a question, "What shall we bring to Alexx's BBQ?"

"Hm?" He looks up at me.

"I was thinking of bringing wine. What do you thing?"

"No, not wine. Others will probably bring wine. I think we should bring a dessert."

"A dessert? Don't you think Alexx will have that?"

Speed cuts another piece of steak. "Sure, but variety is the spice of life." He grins devilishly. "Plus, if there are leftovers, the kids can eat them, and become full of sugar. It'll drive Alexx crazy."

I laugh. "Alright, dessert it is."

Quiet settles in the room again. I munch on a forkful of salad. Things are awkward now but I have high hopes for the future.

* * *

A few hours later I awake. Beside me Speed is fidgeting. Dreaming, apparently. I rollover to go back to bed when he hits me. I turn back to him. 

He relaxes. Temporarily anyway. I sit up and flick on the bedside lamp. Speed is covered in sweat.

"Hey," I say and shake him.

He grabs my wrist in his sleep. I try to pull it away. His grip tightens. Tightens to the point that it hurts.

"Tim!" I shout.

He wakes, letting go of me at the same time. I take back my arm and rub my wrist.

"Delko?"

"You were having a nightmare."

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm more worried about you."

He wipes his forehead. "I'm fine."

"You have to see the therapist."

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

He reaches over me and turns out the lights. I feel him kiss my neck. Against my will I give in.

"Alright, tomorrow it is."


	3. Questioning Tomorrow

**Title: **Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Major angst. Violence. Slash.

**POV: **Horatio

**

* * *

Chapter Two: Questioning Tomorrow**

The beginning of another week. Things have finally returned to something resembling normal. My team is back in full swing. It will be even better when Speed returns.

I close the file in front of me. Another case solved. My phone rings as I close the drawer to the filing cabinet.

"Horatio Caine," I answer.

"Hello, Horatio, how are things?"

I recognize the voice as that of my boss; the head of the lab. What does he want?

"Good, good. Things are winding down." I sit back in my chair.

"Well, I'm calling to let you know that I have your resignation on my desk right now."

"Oh?"

"Do you still wish to go through with this? Even now that Timothy Speedle has been returned and is doing fine."

I swallow hard before answering. "Yes, yes I am."

"Horatio, you are the best CSI leader the lab has ever had. Your team solves more cases than any other department. They look up to you."

"I can't protect them. They need someone who can help keep them safe," I state.

There's the sound of flipping paper on the other end. "Are you really sure about this? Might you reconsider?"

I sigh. "No, my mind is made up. I'm sorry."

"As much as I dislike your decision I will respect it. May I ask you a favor?"

"What would it be?"

"Will you stay on until we find your replacement?"

"Of course."

The conversation comes to a close. I realize that by agreeing to stay a little while longer that I'm stalling. Just what my boss wants. Perhaps I'll find that I really want to stay. Personally, I'm not sure that will happen.

Having Speed ripped away and my team attacked was a major shock to my pride. Watching Delko fall apart hurt me deeply. All I could do was stand by and watch things unfold. Almost losing Speed sent a strong message to me. Everyone has assured me that they are fine. And maybe they are; I'm not.

I failed.

Failed them all.

But I failed Speed most of all.

Sighing, I decide I need a bit of fresh air. I leave my office and make my way down the hall. The hall is empty; the rooms are full of busy criminalists.

A door opens and someone bumps into me.

"Ow."

"Are you alright, Delko?"

"Yes." He cradles his arm.

"Are you sure?" I see the bad bruise painting hi wrist in hues of purple and blue. "That doesn't look too good."

He shrugs. "It's nothing."

I gingerly take hold of his hand for a closer inspection. "Nothing, you say? Delko, your wrist is swollen."

He shrugs again. "Don't worry about it."

I'm amazed to find myself slightly angered. "You're lying to me. What happened?"

"It's nothing, Horatio, really. I'll be fine."

He turns and begins walking away.

"Hey, Delko, would you at least let Alexx look at it?"

He glances over his shoulder, gives me a small nod, and continues on his way.

"Losing them already," I mutter.

Delko rarely kept things from me. Now he wasn't even willing to discuss his injured wrist? If it really was nothing, then why was he hiding the cause? Had he lost fain in me? Lost his trust?

I was able to make my way outside without any other problems. The day was cool and beautiful. The mercury hanging around seventy-five-degrees Fahrenheit. I lean up against a Hummer. I close my eyes and soak up the sun.

I think of what things will be like when I resign. I would have so much free time that boredom would dominate my life. Eventually I'd need to get another job. Preferably in law enforcement. Of course, I'd move, start over somewhere else.

"Enjoying the sun?"

"Yes, Cal," I reply as I open my eyes. Calleigh is her usual bright-eyed cheery self.

"Hey, have you seen Speed or Delko?"

"I saw Speed over the weekend-"

"And how is he?" She interrupts.

"Doing well. And I ran into Delko not too long ago."

"I bet he's doing well, too. Especially now that Speed is back and they're living together."

I shift my gaze to the ground. "No, I don't believe he's well. Something is bothering him and he won't tell me what."

She frowns. "He won't? That's not like him. I'll talk to him for you."

"No," I say, placing my hands on my hips. "It's okay. He'll come to me if he wants."

Cal places a hand on my arm. "Don't worry, Horatio, they'll both come back around. Just give them a little more time. The wounds still need to heal."

She kisses me on the cheek and walks away. I pray that she is correct.


	4. Coming Out Barbeque

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Major angst. Violence. Slash.

**POV: **Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Three: Coming Out Barbeque**

"Are you okay? I ask.

"I'm fine," Speed mutters.

"Are you sure?"

"Stop asking me that," he snaps.

I look out the driver side window. Shadows dance across the neighborhood as a cloud passes over the sun. A chill runs down my spine.

Speed places a hand on my knee. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have bugged you, but I'm worried."

"I'll be fine. I promise."

I want to believe him. He seems so sincere. We had been on our way to Alexx's barbeque when I pulled the car over.

Ever since his abduction Speed has been unpredictable. He doesn't like to be alone. Yet, he doesn't appear comfortable around more than three people. Every night he wakes up from nightmares. He'll stop talking in mid-sentence and he remains unresponsive for hours.

I miss the man I fell in love with.

"Let's go, the cheesecake is getting too warm," Speed says.

I sigh quietly and start the car. We're just a block away. A few minutes later I pull into the driveway. A small sign on the garage door directs us to go to the backyard. I reach the gate before Speed. Alexx is actually waiting on the other side.

"Hey, you two, I thought I heard someone pull-up," she says.

"Hey, Alexx." I eye the empty backyard. "Are we the first to show?"

"No, Yelina is inside making fresh lemonade," Alexx replies.

I whisk the cheesecake away from Speed. Alexx gives him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you, Timmy?" She asks.

"I'm fine. But tired of that question."

"You'll probably hear it a lot today."

We all turn to see Yelina. She settles the glass pitcher of lemonade on the picnic table. Another hug and kiss for Timmy, and a hug for me.

"Where are the kids?" I ask.

"Oh, my husband took them all to the zoo. That brave man," replies Alexx.

"So, need any help?" I ask.

"I'm glad you asked."

The next twenty minutes is spent helping Alexx get everything in order. Calleigh arrives next, closely followed by Velara. Frank and Hagen arrive together; Horatio shows up last.

"Perfect timing; lunch is done," Alexx announces.

Speed sits down beside me. He looks very uneasy. Horatio, probably noticing the unease in Speed's eyes, sits on his other side. Speed relaxes, but only a little. How will he be able to work, I wonder.

We are all about to dig when H gets to his feet.

"I know this isn't a barbeque tradition, but I want to make a toast. First, to the team; things have been hard. Our lives were put on the line and we all pulled through. Congratulations. Second, to Speed, may you return to work soon. We all miss you at the lab."

"Cheers." We all clink glasses.

Idle chit-chat starts as we begin to eat. Speed stays quiet. I lean over to whisper in his ear.

"Have you thought of an answer yet?"

"To what?"

"Telling them. You know, about…"

"Sure, why not? Go for it."

"Are you sure?"

He nods. "They'll find out eventually."

"You want to tell them or should I?" As soon as I ask I realize it was a dumb question. "Never mind. I'll do it."

I clear my throat to get everyone's attention. I don't stand like H did. No real reason to; this is not a toast, after all.

"A mutual decision has been made. So, I would like to make an announcement."

Calleigh smiles knowingly.

"Some of you already know this, others probably have their suspicions. It's time for secrets to come out." I glance at Speed for just a second. He's looking at his plate. "Speed and I have been dating for some time now. And this past weekend we moved in together."

"It's about time!" Calleigh exclaims.

"I knew it," Alexx says.

Yelina smiles.

"Oh, pooh. Can I still get you a housewarming gift?" Velara asks.

"I was wondering about you two," Hagen comments.

Frank doesn't say a thing. He just resumes eating. This bothers me; only a little. I choose to ignore him.

"Of course, Velara. If you so desire to get us a gift, you can."

She beams. "Oh goodie, I love to shop for friends."

"Do you mind if I got with?" Calleigh asks. "I'd love to get them something, too."

Alexx places her hand on Speed's. "Now sugar, if he ever gets to you, come see me. You got that? I'll straighten him out."

Speed actually smiles. "Thank you, Alexx. I'll keep that in mind."

Frank stands abruptly and doesn't even bother to excuse him self. He just leaves.

Horatio watches him go. "He'll get over it. You'll see."


	5. Shadows

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Major Violence, Language, Angst, and Harassment. Mild Slash.

**POV: **Speed

**

* * *

Chapter Four: Shadows**

The sun filters through the blinds flashing into my eyes. I roll over. Delko isn't around. Lucky him, he gets to work. I'm tired of hanging out at home. There's nothing for me to do. My mind can't be occupied. Thus allowing the shadows to creep in.

I get up before I depress myself. The only sounds I hear are the happy birds. I stumble into the bathroom. A nice hot shower should wake me. Within seconds, the mirror is fogged. I remove what clothes I'm wearing and step under the water.

It feels good. Feels like it's washing the world away. My skin turns red. Burned slightly by the boiling water. I stand under the water with my eyes closed. My tears aren't noticeable.

I hit the wall with my fist. Blood colors the water pink and I don't care. I slide down the wall, my head in my hands. Why do I still feel lost?

* * *

I've been sitting in the parking lot for nearly an hour now. I can't find a legitimate reason to be here. Too early for lunch, so I can't use that as an excuse.

Horatio will be mad I'm here. But it's too quiet at home. I finally climb out of the car. The breeze caresses my skin. The sun smiles upon me. Damn sun.

In the building. No one really seems to register my presence. Bad or good? I find that I don't care. I don't want them stopping me and asking the same damn question. I'm tired of hearing it. Tired of lying. And yet, lying is so easy, they all believe me anyway.

I walk down the halls. Alone in my own little world. A world where shadows cloud my mind. I hastily pass by Trace. Not that it matters, the room is empty. Where is Delko?

I hear Horatio. Sounds like he's talking to Calleigh. I look around. Where to hide? The locker room. I disappear into the quiet room. Alone. Always alone.

What if H and Calleigh are coming to the locker room? What if they find me hiding here? My locker, I'll use it as a cover. I came here to get something out of my locker. They'll believe that, won't they?

I walk calmly to my locker. The metal door with secrets behind. I close my eyes. What did I leave in my locker? A change of clothes. A pair of sneakers and a pair black work boots. A stack of books and magazines. That's what I came for. I need the rest of my books.

I open the door. Out flutters an envelope. That's not mine. Is it? I don't remember leaving an envelope behind. Hm.

I pick it up. Across the front my name is scrawled. I don't recognize the writing. Should I open it?

I rip open the seal. I pull out the note. Something falls to the floor. I ignore it for now; I want to read the note instead.

The paper is unlined. The writing is small and neat. I read,

_The time we had was cut short. Really, that's not fair. I wish we could have that time over again. But now, I must know, do you remember me?_

Who the hell? There was no signature. Just a red stamp of a devil. I pluck the other object from the ground.

My heart stops.

My blood runs cold.

It's a picture of me. Bound, gagged, and bloody. No. This isn't happening. It's over. It's all over.

But then I remember, no one was caught. My case is still open.

I jam the note and picture into my pocket. I want out of her. I step out the door and right into Horatio.

"Speed, what a surprise."

"Uh, hi." I smile weakly.

"Might I ask why you are here?"

"Um. I cam to get something from my locker."

Horatio eyes me. "What? You have nothing in your hands."

Caught in my lie. "Er, it wasn't there, like I thought. So I'm going home now. No worries. I'm not working."

"You're bleeding," he says, pointing at my hand.

I look down. "Oh, I hit the wall. I was mad this morning."

He places his hands on my shoulders. "Go home, Tim. Get some rest. You'll be back at work before you know it."

"Sure," I nod. "Sure, resting sounds nice."

I make my way home. But who can rest? I close and lock the door. I lock each window. Draw every blind. Turn on every light.

With my gun loaded, I hole myself up in the bathroom. I take the picture and note from my pocket.

I collapse onto the bed. My gun within reach. My eyes close.

I remember…

The taste of blood in my mouth. Rope burns on my wrists. My clothes sticking to my body with sweat. Tears running down my cheeks. The cool metal gun barrel held against my temple. Pain as the knife cuts my skin.

A slamming door wakes me. I grab my gun. I realize the sun is gone. I fell asleep. Who had come into the apartment? I point my gun at the bedroom door.

"Tim?" Delko yells.

Why does he sound panicked?


	6. Lies

**Title: **Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Angst, major violence, slash, language (check my profile for a special note)

**POV: **Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Five: Lies**

"Timmy?" I yell. "Tim, where are you?"

"Right here."

I jump. "Dude, don't sneak up on me like that. It's rude."

"Sorry."

I glance around. "Any reason all the lights are on?"

"Er…Just making sure all the bulbs work." He gives me a little smile and rubs the back of his neck.

"Um, okay."

He begins turning the lights off.

"Why did you sound so panicked when you came in?" He asks.

I pull a piece of paper from my pocket. "Here, read this."

He takes the paper and reads it aloud, "'The lab doesn't need fags. Get a new job. Or else." What a weak threat."

"Timmy, weak or not, someone isn't happy."

"And? Are you going to let this bug you? Do you want to break things off?"

"No! I don't want to break it off. Why would you think that?" I wrap my arms around his waist.

"I don't know what to think anymore." He lays his head on my shoulder.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to let you go. No matter how many threats we get."

* * *

I turn the TV off. The apartment is now quiet. Speed went to bed hours ago. I was not able to sleep so I stayed up. The clock chimes midnight. I am still not tired.

I contemplate going to bed. I have to be up early for work. But how can I sleep knowing that Speed is hiding something from me?

With an idea I sneak into the bedroom. I remember Speed throwing something away when he opened the bedroom door.

Lying in the corner of the room is a small piece of crumpled paper. I take the paper ball into the small hallway. Quietly, so as not to wake Speed, I unravel it.

I don't understand the note. Who was Speed getting notes from? Was he having an affair, seeing someone else? I look at the dark bedroom. I feel like I don't know my lover anymore. Nothing is what it once was.

What is going on, I wonder.

I crawl into bed beside him, nonetheless. It's time for me to pretend that nothing is wrong. Speed can't know that I know. He doesn't need anymore problems. I drift off to sleep.

Hours later I wake to find myself alone. Speed has gone. His motorcycle isn't in the parking garage in its usual spot. I try not to worry but that's easier said than done.

I actually feel a bit angry when I get to work and see Speed's bike in the parking lot.

"What the fuck," I mutter.

I park my truck and hurry inside. I bump into Speed as soon as I walk through the door. He seems surprised to see me. In my anger I forget my decision from last night.

"Eric," he says.

"Why are you here, Timmy?"

"I had a session with the shrink. H said I had to before he'd let me back at work," he explains.

I cross my arms. "Is that the truth or a lie you thought I'd fall for?"

"What? Is this about my reaction to your problem last night?"

"I found the little love note you got. The one from yesterday."

He goes pale. "You're mistaken."

"Oh really? I don't want to see you tonight, so I won't be home."

He grabs my wrist. "It's not a love letter. Really, you have to believe me."

"Let go of me."

"Eric-"

"Let me go, I have to get to work."

"Eric-"

"Problem guys?"

I pull my wrist away from Speed. "No, H, there's no problem here."

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes."

I massage my wrist. Speed looks as though he has something to say. But he just shakes his head and leaves. I don't even watch him go.

"Delko, are things really as okay as you say they are?"

I smile. "Nothing but a little lover's quarrel."

He smiles too. "Happens to the best of us."

"Sure does. Things will be better by tomorrow," I lie.

"That's good to know. By the way, the doc thinks Speed can come back to work within the next two days. I'm going to see if I can make it happen."

"That'll be great. He needs to get his mid off his problems."

We part company shortly after. I feel dread building in my stomach. I just lied to my boss. I didn't like to lie. A lot of lies are going 'round. And I know things are going to get worse, not better.


	7. Knowing Nothing

**Title: **Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Major angst and major violence.

**POV:** Horatio

**

* * *

Chapter Six: Knowing Nothing**

I close my eyes and exhale. My office is quiet. I enjoy this rare occurrence while it last; which is merely five minutes. Someone knocks on the door.

"Come in," I invite.

Alexx opens the door and cautiously steps in. Something it bothering her and I can tell she's not sure of herself. Two things that rarely happen. I can't help but notice that this day is a little off and that knowledge actually worries me.

"What can I help you with, Alexx?" I ask.

She looks to the extra chair but doesn't sit. "There's something I want to say. Yet, I don't know if it's my place to say it."

I study her, trying to judge what it is that is on her mind. "You don't want to get anyone in trouble….or….?"

"Kind of like that. It has something to do with a team member."

I perch on my desk. "Alexx, if it's something important, I need to know. If it's something non-life threatening, just forget about it."

"It's Speed."

I twinge of worry creeps into my heart. Speed had just come back to work. His first day on the job and already, something has popped up. "Tell me, Alexx."

Her shoulders relax. "I was walking pass the locker room not too long ago. I noticed Speed inside so I stopped to say hi and welcome him back to work. But when I opened the door he quickly hid something and proceeded to act jumpy while we talked."

"He probably just needs to get used to being back."

"That's what I thought. Until I ran into Delko."

* * *

I walk down the hall toward the locker room. I keep telling my mind not to jump to conclusions. I need to hear the truths, hear their voices. Alexx has to be wrong this one time. She just can't be right. I don't want to believe her. I need to see things for myself. 

I enter the locker room and find Speed sitting on the bench. A small sheet of white paper holds his attention.

"Speed."

He jumps and looks at me. He quickly hides the paper by crumbling it in his hand. "Hey, H."

"How is your first day back at work?" I ask.

"Fine, just fine. Getting back in-touch with everything. Can't wait to get back out in the field." He smiled.

Alexx was right. Speed was jumpy. He couldn't look me in the eyes. In fact, his eyes didn't focus on one object for long. The twinge of worry grows.

"You know I can't put you in the field for at least a week or two, depending on how things work out," I explain.

"I know." He shrugs absentmindedly. "I…uh…have some work to be getting to, so I'll see you later, H."

He leaves the locker room and takes the mysterious piece of paper with him. I just watch him go. I know now that I need to find Delko. If Alexx was right about Speed than she has to be right about Delko. I check my watch. Delko should be in the Trace Lab. As though holding my breath, I walk toward the lab. Delko is inside busy looking over some clothing from a recent rape attempt.

"How goes the search, Delko?" I ask, entering the room.

His back is to me and I see him jump ever so slightly. "Going good, finding some fibers that might help us out." He doesn't turn to face me.

"Has Speed been handling his first day back well?" I question.

"Hm?"

"Speed, is he okay?"

"As far as I know he is. Haven't really seen him that much today."

I place my hands on my hips. "Delko, look at me."

Slowly, he turns to me. I sigh as I see that Alexx was yet again right. "Is there something that you want to tell me about?"

"No, not really."

"Delko, where did you get the black eye?" I inquire.

"Nowhere in particular. Just typical male stupidity. Lost my temper at a bar last night and got into a scuffle. Nothing more, H. I swear."

I can't tell if he's lying. The trouble with CSI's is that they learn how to lie like a pro. Still, all the lying in the world wouldn't stop me from finding the truth. Speed is acting weird and jumpy, like he's hiding something. And Delko has a black eye that he obviously didn't want me to notice. Something was definitely going on.

He holds up a few evidence bags. "I'm going to run these over to Valera, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer, Delko leaves. It's as though he was fleeing from me. I just shake my head. My eye catches the flash of white. Another piece of crumpled white paper. Or the same one?

I pick it up and carefully flatten it out. My eyes follow Delko down the hall. Whatis the note supposed to mean?


	8. Wanting More

**Title: **Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Major angst and violence. Slash.

**POV: **Horatio

**

* * *

Chapter Seven: Wanting More**

"Delko, I called you in here for a reason," I say. He looks uncomfortable sitting across from me. Why? He's never been like that before. "Do you know why we need to talk?"

"No," he answers. Is he being honest? I can't believe I'm questioning my own CSI, my own friend. This is wrong.

"I need to know what is going on with you, Delko."

"What do you mean?"

I decide now is the time to get it out. It all needs to be said. I need to know everything. "Your black eye, where did you get it?"

"I told you."

"You lied to me," I say getting up. "You didn't receive that from a bar fight. You didn't get this from a bar fight either." I pull up the sleeve of his shirt. On his upper arm is a large purple bruise. Something Calleigh had told me about.

"It's nothing."

"If it's nothing, then why are you living at Calleigh's?"

Delko stands. "Where do you get off asking me all these questions?" He turns and leaves the office, slamming the door behind him. I sigh. An indescribable feeling buries itself deep in my soul. I know what I have to do. And I don't want to do it.

* * *

I glance around the room. Alexx steals a chip from Calleigh's bag. Hagen sips from his soda and Frank takes a bite of sandwich. I feel bad for interrupting their lunch. But it's time for a conference. Valera and Yelina walk through the door laughing and talking. At my somber expression they quite down and Valera closes the door.

"Alright, H, why are we here?" Hagen asks.

I perch on my desk. Lucky for me Speed is out to lunch and Delko at a crime scene. "An issue has come up that needs that serious attention."

'This is about Speed and Delko, isn't it?" Frank questions.

I eye him. Frank was the one who reacted oddly to the coming-out of Speed and Delko. Now things in the lab had changed. Was he responsible? No, I tell myself, that's not possible.

"I need to know right now if anyone has seen anything strange going on between Speed and Delko," I say.

"Strange like what?" Valera inquires.

"Have they been arguing? Maybe ignoring each other. Perhaps you've seen something that appeared normal at first, but it doesn't anymore."

Alexx sits up straighter. "What are you getting at, Horatio? Are you suggesting that there is war in lover's paradise? They were so happy at the barbeque."

"I'm suggesting something outside a quarrel. Something I don't even want to think." I sigh. It's time to tell them. I can't hide it anymore. "I'm sure you have all heard about how Delko got his black eye." They nod. "It's a lie. On his upper arm is a nasty looking bruise to match. He's also staying with Calleigh."

I pick a piece of paper from my desk and hand it to Hagen. He looks at me and reads it aloud, "'People are going to take notice. It's fun having you under my thumb. Say a word to anyone and things will get worse.'" All eyes are on me.

"That was on the table beside Delko in the lab earlier. Now, read this." I hand Hagen a second piece of paper.

"'Delko, I'm sorry. Please don't say anything to anyone. They can't know.'"

"I found that in the trash can this afternoon."

"Wow…sounds like you might have been right," Alexx says. "But I still can't believe Speed would hit Delko."

"He did suffer a traumatic event. Maybe he needs to get some help."

"This brings me back to my first question, has anyone seen anything weird between the two of them?"

No one says anything. They all look at each other. I know they're wondering the same things as me. Frank throws his sandwich in the trash and leaves, slamming the door behind him. He knows something. And I know it's up to me to find out what it is.


	9. The Crime

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Major angst and violence. Slash.

**POV: **Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Eight: The Crime**

I photograph the blood splatter on the wall. It looks like arterial spray. The dead girl has no injuries that would be responsible for this blood pattern. I eye the blood. There has to be another victim. The young lady who passed on has a few minor cuts and a lot of bruises.

"Something wrong, Delko?"

I peer back at Hagen for a second. "This blood, it didn't come from the girl. There's another victim."

"Are you sure about that?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Alright, I'll let everyone know. Get in contact with the hospitals and see what I can find out for you."

"Uh huh," I mutter as I get back to photographing the crime scene. Hagen doesn't move. "Is there something else I can do for you, detective?"

"Well, I just want to say, I'm sorry about the other day. At the barbeque. I didn't mean to react the way I did."

I place the camera back in my kit. What is Hagen getting at? "Oh?"

"I'm happy for you and Speed. If anything ever comes up and you need to talk, I'm here for you," he replies.

Talk about an awkward moment. "Um, okay. I'll remember that."

I grab some swabs from my kit for the blood on the wall. I still think it's from another victim. There's really no other reasonable explanation. A glance over my shoulder tells me that Hagen is still standing there.

"What is it now, Hagen?"

He looks around, making sure no one else is within hearing distance. There isn't. We're alone. The nearest cop is at the place next door interviewing a potential witness. Whatever he wants to say must be troubling, I've never seen him nervous.

"Well?"

"It's not really my place to say this, and I don't want H to find out that I told you; but you have a right to know."

"Know what?"

"H is checking in on you and Speed. He's got everyone in the lab keeping an eye on you."

"What? Are you kidding me?" I place the swabs of blood into my kit. I'm done here. I feel sick to my stomach.

"Delko, he's worried. He's-"

I storm pass him with my kit in hand. I don't care to hear what he has to say. What right did Horatio have to tell everyone to spy on Speed and I? The feeling of sickness is wiped away by rage. This is just wrong. I don't care that I left a crime scene. It can go to Calleigh. I don't rightfully care. Time has come to pay a visit to the boss.

* * *

I storm into Horatio's office. He's sitting at his desk on the phone. He glances up at me and quickly ends the conversation with whomever.

"Yes, Delko?"

How can he be so calm? It's like he has done nothing wrong.

"Where do you get the right to spy on me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't deny it. I know you've got everyone in here watching Speed and I. What gives you the right?" It takes all my self control not to yell. Oh, but how I want to.

He walks around his desk so that he's standing in front of me. "I'm worried about you two."

"That still doesn't give you the right to spy on us."

He leans against his desk. Still calm. "I'm sorry, Delko. But when I think one of my CSI's is in trouble, I do what I can to help. However, neither one of you will talk to me when it's obvious that something is going."

"Nothing wrong. Just leave us alone." I make my way to the door.

"Delko, if Speed is abusing you, it's not your fault. It's not his either. He needs to get some help."

This stops me dead in my tracks. I slowly turn around. "Excuse me?"

He walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder. "It's understandable. You're scared for him because you love him. But he suffered through something unimaginable and he needs to get help."

I brush his hand from my shoulder. "I cannot believe what I'm hearing. I thought you were my friend. Stay out of my personal life."


	10. An Accident?

**Title: **Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Slash. Violence/angst. Language.

**POV: **Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Nine: An Accident?**

My head hurts. I feel like someone beat me with a sledge hammer. I open my eyes to the bright white ceiling. My body aches. I sneeze. It sends shockwaves down my spine. I grit my teeth. Where the hell am I and what the fuck happened?

"Delko, it's nice to see you open your eyes."

Calleigh bends over the side of the bed that I'm laying on. She doesn't look too good. Her eyes are red. From crying? What is going on? She smiles but it looks hallow.

"Cal, let me talk to him."

Horatio directs her to leave the room. I realize that I'm in a hospital. Why? Where is Speed? What's going on? I look to Horatio for help. The last thing I remember is being mad at him. I fought with him. He was spying on me. Did he do this?

"Delko, can you understand me?" He looks at me with his pale blue eyes. They're filled with worry. Of course he didn't do this to me. Why would I ever think that?

I nod my head.

"Can you speak?"

I try. Nothing happens. So I try again. "Yes," I manage to whisper.

"Good." He pulls up a chair. "We need to talk about the hours after you left my office yesterday."

"Yesterday? Wasn't it just a few hours ago?"

He plays with his sunglasses. "No, Eric. That was yesterday."

I shake my head. It hurts and makes the room spin. "Why am I here?"

"You were in a car accident. You have various cuts and bruises. Along with a mild concussion and a broken wrist."

"That explains why I feel like hell," I mutter. "Where's Speed?"

Horatio doesn't answer me. He looks away. What is he hiding? Why do people tend to hide the truth from someone in a hospital bed? Do they think we can't take it?

"Tell me, H. If you care at all, tell me."

"He's down the hall in intensive care."

"What? Why?"

"He hit his head pretty hard. They're just keeping him in ICU as a precaution. According to them, he should wake up soon."

He hit his head? "He was in the accident with me, wasn't he?" I ask.

"Delko, he was driving. And….I don't believe it was an accident."

"What? You think he tried to kill me?" The anger was rising in me again.

"Listen to me, Delko. I know that you're mad at me, but you have to listen to reason. Speed has not been himself since he was kidnapped. He needs a lot of help." He pauses. He starts playing with those stupid sunglasses again. "The scene shows no reason for Speed to have swerved off the road. I can at least be proud that both of you were wearing seatbelts. Had he not been, Speed would most likely be dead."

I'm too mad to cry. "Get out of my room. I thought you were a friend. How can you do this to him? He never hurt me. Not now, not ever. The only one hurting me is you. Get out!"

I can see him wrestling with the words that I throw at him. My anger won't let me feel regret. I don't like seeing this side of Horatio. What happened to our friendship? How could he doubt Speed?

_Remember what happened. Come on, Delko, it's not that hard. You have to remember._

I close my eyes and remember back to yesterday. After leaving Horatio's office I went to find Speed. He had a right to know that he was being watched. He was unhappy. Another blow to an already fragile soul. I suggested that we head home. We obviously weren't wanted at work. He readily agreed. It was time to make our anger known to everyone. Time to let them know that we weren't going to stand for this crap.

So we left.

Things start to get jumbled at that time. I remember going home. I remember saying something about getting dinner. I remember going outside in the cool night. Speed was with me. He was quiet. He was quiet most of the ride. Wasn't he? I can't get over the nagging voice in the back of my head. I have a feeling that we were arguing. But would Speed veer off the road?

No.

I keep trying to remember. It won't come, though. "Screw it," I mumble. My head already hurts and the medication begins to take affect. I feel myself falling into a bit of darkness. Leaving the world of unhappiness and despair behind.

A gentle hand on my shoulder wakes me. The room is no longer bright. The sun must have gone down. I turn to look at who is standing beside me. It's Alexx. I see Horatio, Calleigh, and Hagen standing off by the door.

Alexx gives me a soft smile. "Hey, nice to have you back with us."

I try to smile. But I can't. Something I dreamed is keeping me from being happy. Everyone must feel that I'm uneasy. Horatio moves closer. I don't want him here. Yet, I don't send him away. My heart and soul are already full of pain. I feel like the world is crumbling around me.

"Delko, what's wrong? Did you remember something?" Horatio asks. He does it quietly. He must not want to disturb me. I can see that something is bothering him. Was it the way that I yelled at him? Apologies would have to wait.

I feel myself crying. I tell him what I remember. The thing I dreamed. "We were arguing in the car…."


	11. Flashing Back

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Angst. Slash. Violence.

**POV:** Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Ten: Flashing Back**

I'm lying in my hospital bed in my hospital room. Alone. Visiting hours ended hours ago. The silence is annoying. But oddly comforting. The buzz of the machines reminds me that I'm not okay. It's been so long since I was okay. Things have fallen so far.

And Horatio. What the hell happened to him? Why is he acting the way that he is? It's one thing to spy on me. Another thing entirely to think Speed would hurt me. I though Horatio was a friend. That's why he was the first to know about Speed and I. Now he thinks Speed abuses me and that I cover it up.

How can I tell him what is really going on? The bruises, they're not from Speed. He would never hit me. He never has. I know that he needs help. Who wouldn't if they were in his shoes? I guess I can see why Horatio thinks he's abusing me. But does he really think Speed is capable of that? And what will Speed think when he finds out?

I overheard Calleigh whispering to Alexx. They thought that I was asleep. It was sometime after Horatio left. Calleigh told Alexx that Horatio went to cuff Speed to his bed. I sure hope he didn't. I can only imagine how Speed will feel when he wakes up and finds he's been betrayed by his closest friend.

I also overheard Calleigh tell Alexx that Horatio had hired a new CSI. Some guy named Ryan. I guess with Speed and I in the hospital things are a bit tight. Or maybe Horatio doesn't plan to have us both return to the lab. Maybe Speed isn't going to have a job. Maybe I won't.

The buzzing machines are quickly getting on my nerves. I want to see Speed. I know his room number. He's just down the hall. I need to see him.

I sit up in the bed and immediately regret it. The rooms spins like a merry-go-round. My chest aches. At least my arm is numb. No pain there. My bare feet touch the cold tile floor. Why are hospitals always so damn cold? Shouldn't they be warm to help you sleep better? To help you heal quicker?

It doesn't hurt so much when I walk. And the room spins slower with each step. I make it to the door. I hear nothing on the other side. So I open it a bit and peek. Nothing. No nurses or doctors. The lights are low and the halls are quiet. Good. I slip from the room. It's not hard to figure out where I need to go. I just check my room number and the closest room.

Sadly, the hospital sucks. Especially for an ICU. I'm able to walk all the way to Speed's room without having to be captious. If there are nurses, somewhere, they're probably watching a little black and white TV. Whatever. As long as their too busy to notice me.

Just as easily as I slipped out of my room, I slip into Speed's. It looks almost identical to the room I'm staying in. Only with a bit more machinery. I hate hospitals. So cold. So sterile. How do they expect anyone to live here? I feel like I should be locked up in an asylum, not in a hospital trying to heal.

"Oh, Timmy," I whisper. Horatio really did handcuff him to his bed. I can't believe it. I yank on the cuffs even though I know it won't accomplish anything. This is wrong. My heart breaks as I gaze upon my lover.

His head is wrapped in a white bandage. The color of his skin was so pale, so ghost-like. At least he is breathing on his own. I'm happy to see that. I can't see any other wounds. They're probably covered by the blanket. I don't want to look. I'm too scared.

"Timmy, Timmy, what happened? Why can't I remember?" I plead. "Horatio thinks you did this. He thinks you tried to kill us. I want to believe it's wrong. But I can't remember. Please, help me remember."

He doesn't stir.

_What were you expecting, Eric? He hit his head and he's in the ICU. It's not like he's going to get out of the bed and dance a jig for you._

A tear runs down my cheek. "It wasn't supposed to go this way. One little car ride and now I stand to lose everything. I have already last so much. I want to remember what happened. I need to remember."

I take his hand in mine. At first, it's painful. All I can think about are the corpses I see every day. So I'm taken by completely surprise when Speed grips back. The strength of his grip can only be mirrored by that of a guy dangling over a cliff and holding the hand of the person he hopes will pull him back to safety.

"Speed?" His grip loosens as a headache begins to grow. It progresses rapidly. And then it hits me full force. I remember.

_We're sitting in the car. Speed is driving. Just like Horatio said. The song on the radio is some 80's tune. It's a clear night. Not a cloud in the sky. We're the only car on the two-lane road. _

"_You'll never believe what I learned today," I say._

"_Hm?"_

"_Horatio has everyone in the lab watching us."_

_Speed quickly glances over at me. "You're kidding. He'd never do that. It's a betrayal of friendship and trust."_

_I shake my head. "I'm not lying. I even confronted him about it. He said he's worried about us."_

"_Why the hell is he worried?" Speed slowed the car as a bunny hopped across the road._

"_I'm sure you know why he's worried about you. You've been so distant. You know, ever since…I don't blame you, though. Pretty much everyone would act that way."_

_He grimaces. Probably remembering the hell he was put through. "Okay, so why is he worried about you?"_

_I place a hand on his thigh. "Oh, I had a nasty bruise the other day. Nothing major. But it got him to thinking. Now he believes that you are hitting me and that I'm too afraid to say anything."_

_His knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel harder. "I'd never hit you," he stats._

"_That's what I told him. But you know Horatio." Outside, a pair of distant headlights signaled the approach of another car._

_Speed shakes his head. "I can't believe he would do that. Do you know what the others believe?"_

_I shrug. "Well, not all of them. I found out because Hagen told me. He said it just didn't seem right."_

_He reaches over to change the radio station as a rap song comes on. I notice that the on-coming lights are driving in our lane. I go to shout at Speed. He looks up and notices them. I panic and grab the wheel._

_I turn it._

I let go of Speed's hand as I fall to my knees. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I did this. Not him. If only I had realized that Speed turned the wheel the other way. That he was going to go around the guy. Instead I was foolish. I turned it the other way. I'm the one that droves us off the road. I'm the one that put Speed in this hospital bed.

It's my fault.


	12. Notes

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer: **Angst. Slash. Violence. Abuse.

**POV: **Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Notes**

I close my eyes to the sun. Its warming effect is something I don't want to feel. Speed is still in the hospital and I'm at work. It's all so wrong. I should be in that hospital bed. Not Speed. I'm the one who made the mistake. A tear runs down my cheek. So much has gone wrong. I thought finding Speed would make things better. Isn't love supposed to be a good thing? Why were things so bad? There never was a calm before the storm. And now, now the storm just rages on.

Someone places a hand on my shoulder, startling me. I thought I was alone. I open my eyes as the hand moves away. Calleigh takes a seat across the table from me. He blond hair is up in a ponytail, as usual. She always has an aura of happiness around her. But today it's not there.

"Oh, Delko, I bet no one even thinks of how much you must be hurting." Her words are soft and kind. Filled with large amounts of sympathy.

"Cal, they're busy solving crimes. What happened, the accident, it was no crime. And the doctor said Speed will be fine." I fake a smile. "They moved him from the ICU."

She smiles back. Just a small smile. "That's great, Delko. Maybe after work we'll go pay him a visit. Just the two of us. How would you like that?"

I shake my head. "No, I can't see him."

Calleigh frowns. "What are you talking about? I thought you loved Speed."

"I do." Right now it was taking everything I had not to break down and cry. "I just can't see him."

She places a hand over mine. "I understand. It's hard for me to see him like that, too. Especially since we nearly lost him not too long ago. But you said it yourself; he'll be fine. He'll be healthy and back to driving you crazy in no time."

I try to smile at her words. She sounds so sure of everything. How does she do it? Easy, she doesn't know. She is not aware that I hurt Speed. That I turned the wheel and drove us off the road.

"Stop frowning, Delko. You're much cuter when you smile. Please, cheer up. I miss your up-beat attitude."

She gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving me alone in the break-room. My up-beat attitude? She missed it? I sigh. That Delko is never going to come back. I am not the Eric everyone thinks that I am. They all see the grieving lover. They don't see the guilt. The guilt that is building inside. The guilt that will be my downfall. If only I could tell someone. But they would never understand. None of them. For how could they, when I didn't even understand?

"Eric."

I turn to Horatio. Strong, always reliable Horatio. The things he put up with. Will he understand? Can I tell him? No, I shouldn't bother him with my guilt. He sees enough pain in the world just leaving his office. I shouldn't dump anything else on his shoulders.

"Yes, H?"

"There are some files on my desk. I was wondering if you would sort through them and put them in the correct filing cabinets for me," he asks.

"Um, sure, H. No problem."

He stands in the doorway for a few seconds. I think he wants to say something. Maybe to apologize for everything that has gone wrong. To apologize for saying Speed abuses me. Or for having everyone in the department spying on us. Or maybe to say sorry for handcuffing Speed to his hospital bed.

He says nothing. Just walks away. I don't care. I let him go. I'm not even curious as to where he's going. He should be sorting case files by himself. Yet, I find that I'm happy to be given the assignment. Going out in the field wouldn't work for me. Not now. My mind is too pre-occupied. I'd screw up and that is something H won't forgive lightly.

Silently, almost in a trance, I make my way to H's office. His sparsely decorated office. The office he spends little time in. A stack of about twenty case files sits on his desk. All the same color but all different sizes. I pull up a chair and begin at the top. The murder of an elderly lady. The crime committed by her own grandchildren. Both of the grandchildren had been too eager to get their inheritance. So they murdered her. Little did they know that the old woman had just weeks to live. They were both in jail now. So much for that inheritance.

The second case is still fresh in my mind. The case of a little girl. Raped and murdered because of her father. He sold her for drug money. A beautiful little gem of just seven years old. He had no remorse whatsoever. I am happy to see that he got life in prison. He deserves it.

I go through the files. I make three stacks; solved, in progress, and cold case. I get down to the last two. There's relief in seeing that most of the disturbing crimes have been solved. Only two are still in progress and one is a cold case. Not bad. If the other two go in the Case Closed pile, that will be great. Maybe it'll help me feel better. Knowing that a few lives have been changed and the justice served that was deserved. People can be so cruel to each other.

I stretch my arms and roll my neck before moving on to the last two files. My hand rests on the folder. I can't open it. The name at the top reads Speedle, Timothy. I don't bother to look at it. I just slip it into the in-progress stack. Eventually it will become a cold case. There is hardly any evidence.

A sheet of familiar white paper sits atop the next folder. I know that I've seen this piece of paper before. I pick it up. And I read.

_I am Lieutenant Horatio Caine, head of the Miami-Dade Crime Scene Investigation team. This is my letter of resignation…_

I remember Calleigh showing me this piece of paper. After I got Speed back but before everything went wrong. I never got to read the whole thing. We had been interrupted that night.

_Due to the events involving one Timothy Speedle, I know longer feel adequate to be head of this department. It has become apparent to me that I can not protect the lives of Eric Delko, Timothy Speedle, or Calleigh Duquense. I feel that they would be better off with someone else in charge…_

I put the paper back on the desk. I don't want to finish reading it. I quickly gaze over the last file and toss onto the cold case pile. Done. Horatio can put them away. I just want to go. To get out of here. Horatio is nowhere to be found. Neither is Calleigh. They're probably at the hospital. Where I should be. Where I don't want to go. I just want to go home.


	13. Confronting Love

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Violence. Language. Angst.

**POV:** Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Confronting Love**

I sit in my car. The hospital building looms overhead. I should go in. I've only been sitting here for an hour. Maybe an hour and a half. I can't go in though. Can I? Will Speed read the guilt on my face? Will he remember what happened that night? If he does, what will he say when he sees me? Will he be mad or happy?

I rest my head on the back of the seat. In my right hand is a crumpled piece of paper. A note I found in our apartment last night. A note I want to discuss with Speed. He needs to explain it to me. When Calleigh called to tell me that Speed was awake I was torn. I am happy that he's okay. Yet, there are so many things that need to be talked about. Unpleasant things.

Finally, after about another twenty minutes I climb from the car. Might as well just get it done and over with. It's now or never. The inside of the hospital is abuzz. Victims from a ten-car pile-up are all over the news and the hospital. Damn fog. Stupid drivers need to learn to drive slower in the fog. I ignore them. I know that Horatio is out at the scene of the accident. There are no crimes. None. It's been oddly quiet lately. So H decided to see if he could figure out why the accident happened. I already know the answer, reckless driving.

Calleigh is standing outside Speed's room. Her blond hair in its trademark ponytail. She is dressed in varying shades of blue. Sitting beside her is Hagen. They're talking in low tones. About?

"Morning, Cal, Hagen," I greet.

Calleigh gets up and gives me a hug. "I'm so happy you made it. Speed will be happy to see you.

No he won't, I think. On the outside, I smile. "I hope so." Inside I'm fighting myself.

Hagen stands. "Hate to leave you here but H called us. He wants a little more help with the accident site."

Calleigh beams. "He says he found something suspicious."

I can't help but laugh. Calleigh loves a challenge. "You guys go on ahead. I'm here now so Speed won't be alone."

Calleigh hugs me again before leaving. Hagen appears as though he wants to say something. He doesn't, though. Something is bothering him. Right now, I don't really take too much notice. There are other things on my mind. Things I'd rather not have to think about. Things I wish would just go away. This is wrong. I can't do this here. I have to. It has to be done. And this is the only place to do it.

I enter the room. Speed is propped up in the bed. He looks so lively. So happy. As though he was never in an accident. How strange life is. He smiles when he sees me. I try my best to smile back. I think it came out more as a smirk. Or maybe a lopsided grin.

He frowns. "What's wrong, Eric?"

Where to start? I decide on a somewhat neutral topic. Something that he doesn't know. Something that will affect him but not anger him.

"Um, well, I'm not sure about this, so I don't want you saying anything to anyone, okay?" He nods. "I think Horatio is going to be leaving us. There was a letter of resignation on his desk."

His eyes get bigger. "H leaving? That doesn't seem right. It must have been a mistake. Maybe you read it wrong."

"I didn't read it wrong," I snap. My anger is trying so hard to force itself out. I have to fight it.

Too late, Speed is already alert. "Eric?"

"You know why he's leaving?" I ask, turning my back to him.

"Why?"

"Because of us. He's leaving because of you and me. Guess that's what happens when you feel like you're useless."

"He's not useless," Speed defends.

I turn back to him. "Put yourself in his shoes. He couldn't stop you from being kidnapped. Now he thinks you're abusing me and that I'm lying to cover for you. Things have changed."

Speed shakes his head. "H can't leave. He's great at what he does. So he screwed up once. I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Not with any help from me." I bite my tongue. Damn it. I need to learn better control. Speed must have caught the odd tone in my voice because he's studying me with those beautiful eyes of his.

His hand clenches into a fist. "Eric, what aren't you telling me?"

Should I do it? Should I confess my guilt to him? He has a right to know. But then won't he leave me? This isn't fair! I flop down into the chair next to his bed. His eyes never leave me. He studies my every move. He knows me by now. He knows me so well. He knows me as only a lover would.

"I'm sorry, Timmy," I choke out. When did I start crying? The tears are there, running down my cheeks. I don't remember them. When…

"Sorry for what?" He asks softly.

"It's my fault. I got mad. The stress of everything, it finally got to me. I went over the deep end," I mutter.

"What are you talking about, Eric?"

"I turned the wheel, Timmy. I'm the one who drove us off the road. I was mad. I did it. There wasn't another car, no animals in the road. Just my anger. I'm sorry," I sob.

Speed is quiet for what seems like eternity. In reality it's probably only ten seconds. I feel his hand on my shoulder. A forgiving touch. The touch of a lover. I shrug it off. I'm not worthy of it. I never have been.

"It's okay," he soothes. "Everyone makes mistakes. I don't blame you. I would never blame you."

I choke back another sob. "That's not all. I went home last night, angered at myself. I tore about the apartment for reasons I don't even understand." I drop the crumbled note on his lap. "I found this."

The color drains from his face. "I…"

"I read it. All of it. Why did you hide this from me? Why?" I inquire.

Now he begins to cry. "I wanted you to think that I was better. I was afraid you'd leave." He looks at me with pleading eyes. "Don't leave, please, don't leave me."

Shouldn't I be the one asking him that? After everything that I have done? I take his hand in mine. I kiss him on the cheek. "We can't tell Horatio. He'll feel like he failed again. We have to keep this between just us."

He nods in agreement. I see the fear playing in his eyes.

"Don't worry," I smile. "We'll figure it out. We'll find the one who sent the note. I promise." I close my eyes and let the black words of the note run through my mind.

_Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, how I torture you so. I loved kidnapping your. The fear and desperation on the faces of your friends, such a delicacy. I wish I could see it again. Maybe, just maybe, it's time for another game. What do you say? Do you want to play?_


	14. A Friend In Need

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Violence. Language. Angst.

**POV:** Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: A Friend In Need**

Speed is released from the hospital today. I should be happy. Shouldn't I? But he's been hiding things from me. We've both been hiding things. And not just from each other. It's time we both come clean. I need him to tell me who is threatening him and he needs to know a few things about myself. Mainly who is hurting me.

I glance at Horatio as he walks by the Trace Lab. He doesn't even notice me standing there. Is that bad or good? He hasn't really been talking to me. Not since he arrested Timmy. Now Tim is on a leave of absence, pending an investigation. How can Horatio do that to one of his closest friends? I close my eyes and sigh. Why is the world falling apart?

A hand touches my shoulder. I jump.

"Sorry, I thought you heard me," Calleigh says.

I look at her bright smile. "I was off in my own little world. Kind of my fault that you scared me. I should be paying attention to the work at hand."

She pulls the evidence from my hand. "Why are you still here? Doesn't Speed get out of the hospital today?"

"Yes," I nod.

"Well, who's going to pick him up and take him home? Who's going to love on him if you're here?"

I chuckle. "Cal, Hagen is picking him up and I'll see him after work. We're not really talking to each other right now. There's a lot on the table, you know?"

The smile disappears from her face and is replaced with a look of deep concern. "Are you two having a lover's quarrel? Over what? The car accident?"

I bit my bottom lip. Should I tell her? I need to tell someone. It's getting on my nerves. I've been jumpy and edgy for a few days now. Ever since I found those notes. Calleigh is a great listener. A great friend. She can handle it. I need a friend and Calleigh is the perfect one. I sigh.

"There's a lot to talk about. How about we do it over lunch, what do you say? My treat?"

She shakes her head. "My treat. You've obviously got a lot on your mind. Let's go. I want to help you out."

We're sitting in a booth at a restaurant that sells Cuban food. I never thought Calleigh would eat here. But it was her choice. She says she likes the place. Personally, I've never even been here. We both look over the menu. Calleigh is doing it for my benefit. I know that her mind is made up about what she wants. I take a few minutes to find a meal that sounds like it'll be delicious. We both order and are left by our waiter.

"So, what do you want to cover first, Eric?" She asks, sipping her water.

Where do I start? Horatio? Speed? The notes? My own guilt? Or…?

"Earth to Eric." Calleigh is waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, I was trying to decide where to start." I take a short pause. "I came across Horatio's resignation again, the other day. When he had me sorting files. I think he's really going to go through with it. Can you believe that?"

Cal shakes her head. "That doesn't seem like H. I know things haven't been great lately. But they'll improve, they always do. He won't leave. It's not in his nature."

"I hope you're right. I can only imagine who they would pick to be our new boss." Time for topic two. "I can't believe that H thinks Speed is abusing me. Did you know that?"

Calleigh's eyes grow big in surprise. "Yes, I actually did know, I just didn't know that you knew."

"Oh, I've known for a little while. Hagen told me. I was not very pleased about it. Timmy has never hit me. Honestly. I don't think he can bring himself to do such a thing," I remark.

"I agree." Calleigh and I stop talking while our food is placed on the table. Both dishes look really yummy and smell great. I kind of hope I can try some of her meal. But now is not the time to ask.

"This is not easy to talk about. So please keep the next few things to yourself. Please?"

She must hear the desperation in my voice. All she does is nod in agreement.

"You know how we never caught Speed's kidnapper?" She nods. "He's been getting threatening notes at work. That's why he's been acting weird. I'm not sure if they're actually from the same person or if someone is just playing a mean joke."

"Now normally, I would say tell Horatio, but he's not an option right now. Does Speed have any idea who it is?"

I shake my head. "Not a clue. Not that I'm aware of, anyway. He's been hiding the whole thing from me. I only found out because I came across one of the notes at our apartment the other night. Needless to say, I'm not pleased."

She places a hand over mine. "I know that this news is troublesome. Yet, something else is paining you. What is it, Eric? Please tell me. I want to help. Telling another person may make you feel better."

I chew my lip. How do I tell her? Do I just come right out and say it? Is that really the best way? Only one way to find out…

"The accident wasn't an accident, per say."

"What are you talking about?" She wipes her mouth with her napkin.

I sigh. This is hard. "I did it. I..I pulled the wheel. There was never another car or something in the road. I just pulled the wheel. I drove us off the road."

She sits there quietly, digesting the words. I can see the information sinking in. That's it, I've lost a friend. I never should have told her about that. No one should know. It's a horrible thing. How can a person do that? It's just not understandable. She takes my hand in hers, surprising me for the second time today.

"I'm sure you had your reasons. And even if you don't understand them now, that's okay. We all makes decisions in our lives. Maybe you didn't mean for the car to hit that tree. Perhaps you just wanted Tim to pull over and he wouldn't. Don't fret over it. Not everyone understands their own actions. I've been in a few moments like that myself. It's really okay, Eric."

Her words are caring and loving. There is hope. I wasn't trying to kill Speed. Could she be right? Was I just trying to pull the car over? We were arguing. It's possible. I sigh with relief. The guilt of that incident is gone. Now to bear my inner soul and tell Calleigh something I have yet to tell another human being. Screaming at myself in the mirror doesn't count.

"Cal, I have something else to tell you. Something that I don't want you to react to. Not in the way I know you're going to."

She gives me a quizzical look and a half smile. "If I can't react that way, then how can you know that I will?"

Any reply is cut-off as the waiter swings by again. This time to take away are dirty plates, ask for refills, and see if we want dessert. Calleigh orders a piece of cake. For a petite woman she can really pack it away without adding extra pounds. It's really all part of our job. We burn a lot of calories. Chasing perps is a lot of work. Takes a hell of a lot of energy. And than there are those days that you don't eat at all because of a particularly nasty crime scene.

Calleigh winks. "I'll share my cake with you if you tell me your secret."

Despite my nervousness and apprehension, I chuckle. Leave it up to Calleigh. "You don't have to bribe me with cake, Cal. I plan to tell you."

She waits in silence. Knowing that if she says anything I might change my mind. The waiter interrupts us once again. Bringing with him refills, a slice of heavenly chocolate cake, and the bill. I grab the bill before Calleigh can. This will be my treat, even though she offered in the beginning. I will have unloaded some nasty news and paying the bill is the least I can do.

"Calleigh, the bruise that I've had lately, the ones that have you all curious, well," I pause. I can't believe I'm admitting this to some else. But it's time. I need to do it. "Someone at the lab has been, how shall I put this…" I sigh. There really isn't an easy way to put it. "They have power over me. And things have not been nice. They are the source of the bruises. Not Speed."


	15. Playing the Deck

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Violence. Language. Angst.

**POV:** Delko

**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: Playing the Deck**

The lab is quiet. This puts me at ease. Day shift is gone and not all of night shift is in. This will go well. Maybe. I remember returning to work after lunch with Calleigh. The day passed slowly, without incident. All I did was processes evidence. For once, there is a low crime rate in Miami. Guess it's just one of those months. Even the criminals like to take a vacation; as absurd as that seems.

I look to the picture in my hand. Happier times. I want to smile. Really, I do. Half-heartedly I tear the photo in half. The memory is gone. I feel the tears clouding my eyes. I blink them back. I left work early, since it was a slow day. I was in a happy mood. Calleigh swore to keep my secret and having finally told someone, the weight was gone. But my happiness was short lived. When I returned home I find that Timmy had left. He wasn't there and some of his things were missing. I tried for hours to call him. He never answered. He still wouldn't. My guess, he just left me. I tore the place apart in rage. I wanted to know why he left. What had I done that was so bad? It was than that I came across the stash of letters. Those damn threatening notes. Some many of them. All of which he'd hidden from me.

It didn't take me long to figure out who sent them. I knew the handwriting. It had become increasingly familiar in the last few weeks. All too familiar. Now here I am, back at the lab. Calleigh has gone and so has Alexx. Last I saw Hagen he was making his way to his car. The only person I can't find is Horatio. But that doesn't matter. Not now. Not when I have a task at hand.

The person I'm waiting for walks by. He doesn't see me. That's a good thing. I knew the best location to hid away from him. I know this lab like the back of my hand. I give the hallway a check. There isn't another sole in sight. Good. Briskly, yet slowly, I follow him. Making sure to stay as quiet as possible. I want to surprise him. It'll be more fun for me.

I dart into the bathroom doorway as he bends over to tie his shoe. What a fool, I smirk. He can't even keep his shoes tied. How did thing get so far than? How? I watch as he turns into the locker room. A great place for the deck of cards to play out. At least, I think it is. He won't be thinking anything is great in a few more minutes.

Outside the door I pause. Despite my calm mind my heart is racing a mile a minute. I close my eyes for a brief moment, trying to ease its pace. I feel the metal, cool in my hand. I don't bother to check the chamber, I know it's full. My gun is always loaded. That's a little something Horatio instilled into me. Always have a loaded weapon. You never know when you're going to need it. How right you are, H, how right you are.

Finally, steeling my spine I enter the room. He's sitting on the bench, tying his shoes. For some reason he came here to replace his sneakers with a different pair of sneakers. He is anal. I know he is. I know the sneakers too. He wears them inside the lab. Says that they are better than wearing one pair of shoes and tracking dirt all over the place. Dirt that could contaminate evidence. I move farther into the room. As the door closes behind me he looks to me.

It takes a split-second for his mind to register who I am. "What are you doing here?" He snaps.

"Came to see you," I reply shortly.

"Get lost, trash." He resumes tying his shoes. My anger is stoked by his ignorance. I point my gun at him. Leveling it with the back of his neck.

"I'm not done with you," I remark.

He looks to me again. His eyes grow large as he sees the shiny metal. "What the…"

"Shut up!" I hiss. "You don't get to talk. You've done enough talking."

"Come on, man, you don't have the balls to pull that trigger." Even though all the color has drained from his face, he still chooses to be cocky. That's his choice than. The cards are on the table. It's time to play the hand.

I take a step closer. "I don't?" Adrenaline is coursing through my veins. Now my heart beats fast in sport, not by nervousness.

He smiles. "Go ahead. Dare you to do it." The smile on his face doesn't fool me. I know human behavior. I can read the fear in his eyes all too clearly. This is what I want. This is what I came here for.

My mind races with visions. I see the blood he's caused to flow. The tears that came because of him. I see it all. I feel it all. Every single time he hit me. Every word meant to make me feel less like a human. Those were his cards. He played them. Now it was my turn. Now I'd show him how to win.

"Enjoy your hell," I say in a voice I don't even recognize as my own anymore.

He smiles again, this time calling my bluff. What a stupid mistake made by a stupid man. Someone should show him how to work on his poker face. Too bad they'll never have the chance to.

I hold my breath. My finger squeezes. The room fills with the sound of the gun roaring in anger. The flash blinds me. My world as I know, ends. Not much of an ending though, so I have no reason to live.

* * *

Horatio is looking at me from across his desk. His eyes are swimming in emotions. He doesn't know if he should be mad, upset, or just plain pissed off. Whatever he decides, I hope he does it soon. I want to leave. I don't want to be here anymore. All I can smell is the gun powder. All I can hear is the gun going off. Let me out. Please let me go home to my bed.

He shakes his head. "I really don't know where to begin, Delko. I never expected anything like this to happen. Never."

"I did what I did, H. There's no taking it back."

He nods in agreement. A flash of pain crosses his face. "At least things are not as bad as they could have been. There's that chance that you would have hit him, instead of missing him. If you had hit him, you probably would have killed him."

I have nothing to say to that. I know that I miss him. Duh, I have eyes. It was a last minute conscious decision. If I killed him, my life would have been over. I would lose my job. My friends. Respect. My family would never talk to me again. But most of all, I would lose myself.

"There's something I need to know, Delko. Why?"

The question just hangs in the air. How do I answer it? He came to my rescue. Little did I know, he was still at work. He heard the shot and being a good lieutenant, came to investigate. He found me, with my gun, and the bastard cowering in the corner. At least I showed him. He won't be bothering me anymore.

"He fucked up, Horatio. There's nothing more to say," I remark.

He shakes his head. "Damn it, Delko. Now is not the time to be lying to me. Your ass is on the line. Tell me what the really motivate was."

I should have known that I couldn't lie to him. No one can lie to him. "Stress," I mutter.

His brow creases. "From over work?"

My anger is coming back. What a stupid answer from a smart man. "No, not work. You just don't see it, Horatio. You don't." I lean forward in the chair. "He sent threatening letters to Speed. He thought it was a joke. A sick fucking joke. What kind of twisted mind comes up with that?" I don't give him a chance to answer my question. "The same twisted fuck who's willing to go out of his way and take advantage of another person. He's the one that's been causing my bruises, Horatio. Not Speed. I wish I had killed him. He doesn't deserve to be alive." I whisper the last sentence.

Horatio just looks at me. His blues eyes taking on a cloudy hue. "I'm sorry, Delko. I'm so sorry. I wish I could have protected you and Speed more. I should have. But I failed-"

I cut him off before he can go on. "We all fail. It's the way of life."


	16. Following the Road

**Title:** Tomorrow Never Comes

**Disclaimer:** Slash. Violence. Language. Angst.

**POV:** Speed

**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Following the Road**

_Exactly one week later…_

I look out at the blue sky, reflecting on the last month. So many things had happened this year. Most of which were unpleasant.

I did not enjoy being kidnapped. Who does? At least I came home. Alive. Thanks to my good friends. I spent a few days waiting for life to return to normal. I even moved in with Eric. I loved him. It was a good move. But then the notes started coming. The notes brought back all the memories of my capture. I hated it. I chose to keep the notes a secret from everyone. Especially Delko. There was no reason to make him worry. Not that I could see.

Little did I know that the person sending me those notes worked for the night shift at the lab. I was also not aware that he was using Delko for his own means of fun. Beating Delko to make himself feel better. Doing it only because Delko loved me. All because of love.

There isn't enough love in the world. Now I know why. I watch the clouds chase each other across the sky. A flock of birds fly by. It's all too serene. Definitely something I'm not used to. I don't move. I enjoy the quiet a bit too much.

I remember the day I returned from the hospital. A trip that still bothers me. I don't think I'll ever understand why Delko drove us off the road. Maybe it was just a wrong move. Perhaps he didn't mean to hit that tree. But life takes you in new directions all the time. You never know what road you'll be traveling down next.

That day, the day I was released, Hagen came to pick me up. Deep down inside I was glad he came to get me and not Delko. There were some things I just couldn't face. I asked him to take me back to our apartment. But instead of leaving, I asked him to wait. I wanted to get away. To find a space all my own. We may have been living together but the apartment would always be Delko's. Hagen was more than happy to offer me a place to stay when he saw me return with my bags. Like a good friend he never questioned my choice. I hadn't even really thought it out myself.

Then there was the incident at the lab that night. Delko tried to kill the guy responsible. I guess he thought it would make the world go back to the way it was. But you can't erase past events. They are there. Always and forever. I shake my head and sigh, climbing to my feet. I dust myself off.

We'd all been let go. For the time being. Those in charge of the lab decided that we needed to get away. Calleigh, Horatio, Delko, Hagen, and myself had been put on a leave of absence for two months. How the lab would manage without us, not a clue. Crime rate will probably go up. I grin. At least the dead will still have Alexx. She refused to leave for more than a week. She wants to be there when we all come back. If we all come back.

Calleigh mentioned visiting her parents back in Georgia. And Delko thought a family visit was a great idea. There are other things that he has to do first. Hagen, who knows what he'll be doing. Maybe fishing or drinking himself silly. As nice as he is, he's still a mystery. Horatio just left quietly. I know that he wants to resign. Maybe the time away will help him change his mind. Miami really needs him. We all really need him. He's the glue that binds us. If only he can see it.

As for myself; I climb back on my bike. I've been driving all week. Just following the road. Wondering where it'll take me. What adventures does this month hold for me? I smile softly as I start the engine to my yellow motorcycle. Wonder what the others are doing now. Time will tell. We'll see each other soon. As the sun sets I get back out on the road. I drive for another hour before I pass a sign that reads, _Nevada Welcomes You._

**Fin**


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